I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
