If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
