So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
