I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
