Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
