M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
