we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The air was thick with penises
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
