Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing

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(845): View more from New York

For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail

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(440): View more from Ohio

By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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(949): View more from California

I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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(302): View more from Delaware

He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".

Fav 23 5436 2013
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(314): View more from Missouri

Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know

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