He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
