He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you would pick up someone in the library
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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