dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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