Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i will never coherently bang her
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
