So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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