fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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