I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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