It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
