i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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