yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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