I have demons in me.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
