God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
