I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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