I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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