He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
