Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
