I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
