You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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