My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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