On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
