If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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