it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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