You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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