Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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