We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
