I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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