Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
