it hurts more in the daytime
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
