people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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