I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
