Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
