i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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