can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
