I wish I could punch you in the face.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
