so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize