great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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