508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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