I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
