Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
