i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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