I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
