brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
