these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
